The prevalence of low sexual desire ranges from 26.7% among premenopausal women to 52.4% among naturally menopausal women. That is an enormous segment of women who are frustrated about their lack of desire and wonder what’s wrong. But in Woman on Fire, Amy Jo Goddard shows us that the more whole we are as sexual beings, the more fulfilled we are as human beings. In this accessible, prescriptive book, Amy Jo reveals her holistic, inside-out approach to developing Sexual Empowerment. Women from 20 to 70 come to her workshops with issues like these: “What am I missing?” “I don’t like sex the way everyone else seems to.” “How do I maintain desire after having kids?” “How do I build sexual confidence?”
In answer, Amy Jo shows us how to master the 9 Elements of a Sexually Empowered Life and includes stories from the thousands of women she has worked with. She shows us how to get (back) in touch with desire, explore vulnerability and play, and push the boundaries of what we think is acceptable. We will not just have better sex, we will have more pleasure throughout life and more intimate relationships, whether we have many partners or one.
If you are a woman, than you need to pick up a copy of this book. Let’s just start right from the top with the title of the book. She didn’t say “women”, she said “Woman on Fire.” As you read the book, you will see that she is talking to you. No matter who you are or where you come from, everyone deserves to be loved. Not only does Goddard’s book empower you to love yourself first, it shoes how the power of self-love will enhance all areas of your life.
Don’t let the subtitle intimidate you. Let’s be real here, we are adults and the one aspect of our lives that many of us shy away from is our “sexuality.” Yes, I will admit that I am one of those people who can barely say the word, but that is part of the problem. You can’t fix what you don’t own. Part of the problem is as women we have defined “it” by what others say it should be (i.e. cultural, familial or religion), what the media and/or Hollywood shows us, what “Cosmo” tells you should do or simply just settle for whatever comes our way. Many women feel broken, imperfect, powerless or don’t feel they deserved to be loved in any way. As a result, our lives are left unfulfilled. Not meaning just in a physical way but as a whole which has challenged our own internal, conflicted dialogue. This is why this book is so enlightening and needed. Goddard’s nine elements not only will help you embrace “you” but will force you to change the narrative that you have been saying, living and existing.
Goddard frames the book into nine elements that will empower your journey which include voice, release, emotion, body, desire, permission, play, home and fire. These themed chapters include testimonials from women that span diverse background and experiences that you will relate, sympathize or learn from. What I found really fascinating was something that she mentioned that as adults we need education. I have no shame to admit that I had no clue or never heard about some of the things that she was talking about. All the more important that knowledge is power and the more you know will empower you to be able to articulate what you want and understand to be able to have an open dialogue with whomever is in your life.
The book overall I thought was thought provoking and definitely is one that will generate and encourage conversation. Her education, experience and voice permeate the pages giving the reading a thorough and comforted tone that will leave the reader empowered and respected. The book can be accompanied by her online resource that compliments the book that gives you tips and exercises to incorporate in your life. Something that Goddard said that really stands out to me that sums up the core and is a catalyst for this book is when she said, “everyone has to overcome the message they have internalized that tell them not to talk about sex and that it should stay private.” If we can break down the barriers that define that statement than we definitely become a “Woman on Fire.”
Reviewed by Michelle Bowles