I admit it was me who shouted, “Looking good, hot stuff!” at Mr. Richmond this morning, but I didn’t mean it like that.
Yes, Mrs. HR Lady, I know how it looks. Believe me, I am totally anti-catcalling, but that’s not what that was. Honest. I was paying him a compliment!
That’s kind of what I do: I’m a proud, small-town Floridian, and Manhattan is craving some Florida sunshine—nothing like a sincere compliment to turn those New York frowns upside down!
Grayson Richmond needs some positivity.
Have you seen how grumpy he is?
Sure, he’s the big boss, but I’m always at his house, so we’re kind of, well, not friends, that would be awkward, but like…
Okay, so no, I didn’t actually meet him until today. I only go to his penthouse to drop off the dry cleaning…
Wait, I’m sorry, he felt threatened? Are you kidding me?
I’m dead broke, my fashion style is Disney adult, and I’m five feet tall when I stand up straight. I’m twenty-three and look like I’m twelve. People constantly stop me and ask me if I lost my mommy.
Grayson is six foot five, one of the richest men in Manhattan, and literally owns multiple city blocks and two of the tallest skyscrapers in the city, which is, by the way, totally a phallic calling card.
Yes, I understand that Mr. Richmond takes these matters very seriously.
No, I’m not making a mockery of this company or of him.
Yes, I will return to my duties as Mr. Richmond’s lowly assistant of the assistant to the secretary.
No, I’m not being snarky. Believe me, my credit card debt and I are very happy to have this job.
Also, I hate to ask, but Mr. Richmond didn’t say anything about the notes of positive affirmation in his underwear drawer, did he?
It wasn’t anything awkward like “I want to bang you.” Because, you know, I don’t want to. Not at all.
Is he hot? Washboard abs, that jaw, those hands—phff yeah! After all, my momma didn’t raise no liar. But I’m not going to like, tell him, because that would be weird.
Wait, what? He wants to see me in his office? Now? Like now now?
Gulp!
This is an enemies-to-lovers, grumpy New York billionaire boss versus Florida-sunshine assistant, stand-alone romantic comedy! If you like cupcakes, sparkly stickers, and hot guys in suits whose rigid routines get a hilarious shake-up, this book is for you! Happily ever after guaranteed!
Excerpt
“Come out with me,” the guy was saying.
If she agreed, I was going to lose it, not in an, I’ll-say-something-snarky way but in an I’m-going-to-jail sort of way.
“I’m busy,” Lexi chirped. “Thank you for the offer. I’m sure you’ll find the right person. You have a beautiful soul.”
No sense of self-preservation.
“You can’t dis me.” The guy lunged at her.
“You fucking piece of shit!” I shouted.
The crowd scattered, sensing a fight about to go down.
“Are you freaking kidding me?” Lexi yelled. Well, it sounded more like a squeak from one of those novelty rubber chickens.
“You better not be talking to my girl,” I said laser focused on the creep. I was going to kill him for touching her.
“Oh shit, man. I’m sorry.” The guy held up his hands.
“I am not his girl,” Lexi argued, trying to push around me.
I grabbed the back of her yellow jacket.
“And you, sir, need to respect a woman when she says no!” Lexi yelled at the creep.
“You better get her under control,” the guy demanded.
“No one is getting me under control.” Lexi pulled out a Taser, brandishing it.
Her attacker raised his arm like he was going to slap her.
I moved toward him, grabbed him by the throat, and lifted him up. His legs kicked as he squirmed.
I brought him to my face and slowed down my movement, channeling my father when he was at his most frightening, when he had us all cowering in a sludge of fear and self-loathing in front of him.
“If I ever see you again, I will skin you.”
I dropped him, and the guy scrambled along the dirty ground away from me.
“I was just playin’. I didn’t mean anything,” he choked out, face still red.
I didn’t say a word.
The creep swallowed hard then scrambled to his feet to stumble off.
I turned slowly to Lexi.
“I told you,” I said softly. I could still feel my father’s anger wrapped around me. I expected to see the same fear I knew all too well from my mother’s face, my brothers’ faces, my own.
Lexi didn’t seem fazed or scared. Instead she seemed pissed.
“I don’t need you to white knight in here swinging your hot dog around with both hands, trying to prove a point.”
“A hot dog?”
“I can take care of myself. I’m not some dumb small-town girl; I have a Taser.”
“It’s covered in stickers.”
“No reason it can’t have a little flair,” she said. “See, look, there’s Cinderella. Oops!” She yelped when the Taser shocked me.
I strangled a curse then slapped the pink Taser out of her hand.
“This isn’t even charged.”
“Jiminy Cricket. I knew I forgot something,” she muttered.
“I’m taking you home right now.”
“I’m here working.”
“I’m literally your boss,” I exploded, the cold, quiet anger giving way to the safer, hotter fury. “I never told you to be out here in the middle of the night wandering around dark alleys.” I grabbed her hand.
“I have pepper spray,” she warned, twisting in my grasp.
“And yet somehow I am not intimidated,” I replied as I hauled her toward my car.
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