In my newest book, Bridesmaid Blues, Dani Brown, the maid-of-honor, has to keep the best man, her ex-boyfriend, away from the groom as a favor to the bride. Dani and Jamie’s relationship didn’t end well, and she was left trying to figure out why he bolted days after she said the L-word. That got me thinking about dating, relationships, and marriage. It’s been years since I’ve had to hit the dating scene, thank God, but I fairly certain the basic reasons for sticking with or ending a relationship haven’t changed much.
These are my top five reasons not to get married. I strongly feel if you’re contemplating taking the plunge and any of these are the reason why, you should rethink your decision. Maybe go to a hot yoga class or get a massage and think it over.
1. You need somebody to lift heavy things. You can actually hire people for this. It might only cost you a case of beer or a batch of cookies. Even if you have to fork out cold cash, Hank and the Box Boys will eventually leave, and you won’t be forced to watch the Duck Dynasty marathon running all weekend.
2. You’re bored. I’ve got one word—hobby. Get one. Cosplay, cooking, cucumber art. You can choose as many hobbies as often as you want. Spouses are a lot more difficult and expensive to change.
3. You need somebody to watch your pets while you go on vacation. I usually like to take my husband on vacation with me, but that might not be for everybody. Again, I’ll point out, a pet sitter or kennel is far cheaper than a spouse.
4. Threats for your mother. She’ll die a broken woman if you don’t get married. My suggestion is tell her that day can’t come too soon. Guaranteed she will not die, broken or otherwise. You may have to listen to her crap, but you’re an adult, that’s what caller ID and peep holes are for.
5. Lastly, everybody else is doing it. All your friends are getting married and you feel left out. All your friends might be getting their nipples pierced too, but that doesn’t mean you have to. Like with nipple piercing, if your piercer, or fiancée, are only so-so, chances are things are going to end painfully and you’ll end up regretting your choice.
So there you have it, a few standard guidelines that will help you know when to say yes to the dress and when not to. I’d love to hear your reasons for not getting married.
About Boone Brux
Boone is a bestselling author in both fantasy and series romance. She began writing in an attempt to ward of the slow decomposition of her mind while being an at-home-mom of twin toddlers. It soon became clear that storytelling was her true calling.
Her books range from epic fantasy, full of hot heroes and demons, to humorous urban fantasy, where hockey moms are grim reapers and Greek gods live next door. Though she loves writing romance, Boone prefers stories where she gets to blow something up or kill somebody.
She calls Alaska home and lives there with her husband, daughters, rescue dog, Oreo, and Velma Underfoot, a black cat who rules the house.
About Bridesmaid Blues
A wedding. An ex. And a secret.
Maid-of-Honor Dani Brown can handle anything that comes her way when it comes to her best friend’s wedding. That is, until the bride asks for a huge favor-Dani needs to distract the best man, who happens to be Dani’s ex. The ex she has fantasized dismembering for a year now.
The ex she’ll have to suck it up and play nice with if this wedding is to go off without a hitch.
Businessman Jamie Kingsland is back in Seattle for a wedding. There’s just one problem – the maid of honor wants him dead. Except she doesn’t. Even though he knows he broke her heart last year when things got too serious and he panicked and left, she’s being way too nice about it now. And it scares him.
Something is up with his favorite bridesmaid, and he’s determined to find out what…