Spotlight: Built to Last by Julie Ann Walker

In the epic conclusion to the BKI series, New York Times and USA Today bestselling author Julie Ann Walker delivers her biggest bombshell yet!

Welcome to Black Knights Inc.
What appears to be a tricked-out motorcycle shop on the North Side of Chicago is actually headquarters for the world's most elite covert operatives. Deadly, dangerous, and determined, they'll steal your breath and your heart.

After a mission-gone-sideways forces Jamin "Angel" Agassi to change his identity, he's determined to bring down the world's worst crime syndicate kingpin once and for all. That's going to be the easy part. Keeping Interpol agent Sonya Butler from discovering who he really is—and blazing another trail into his heart—is the challenge.

Excerpt

“Angel,” she whispered, coming up for air.

The way she said Angel, with such longing and desperation, was perfect. Except it wasn’t his name. Not his real name, anyway. And the fool in him longed to throw caution to the wind and tell her the truth, if only to hear her call him Mark one last time.

Years of unquenched desire rode atop his shoulders. A decade of dirty words fell from his lips as he kissed his way back to her ear.

“Tell me you want me,” he commanded, nipping her earlobe.

The way she groaned captured him. Trapped him. Except the truth was, she’d owned him since the moment she opened her mouth beside his table at that café in Paris and asked if he was Mark Risa in sweetly accented Hebrew. He was hers. Always had been. Always would be.

Instinct was his ruler now. Instinct and the memories of all the things she liked. All the things that made her yelp and purr and beg for more. Cupping her breast through the soft cotton of her T-shirt, he thumbed over her nipple, delighted to discover the peak already ruched tight with desire.

She was as responsive as he remembered. Possibly more so.

“Tell me you want me,” he demanded again, needing to hear it. Needing her to admit it.

“I want you. God help me, I do.”

If he’d only heard the desperation in her voice, he might have kept going. Except…overshadowing that desperation were hard notes of guilt.

Reality check.

He pulled back to discover her eyes were glassy with unshed tears. Everything inside him stilled—his heart, his lungs, his blood. Everything except his mind. It raced toward a conclusion he didn’t want to face.

“Are you still crying for him?” he whispered. “This man from your past?”

“No.” She shook her head. Then shrugged. “Maybe. I don’t know. It’s just that you remind me of him sometimes. The way you walk. The way you pop your jaw. The way you kiss except…”

He wanted nothing more than to keep contact with her. But she had withdrawn from him emotionally, and the gentleman in him—a guy he rarely let out to play—demanded he withdraw from her physically. When he stepped back, breaking the connection of their bodies, it felt like everything that was important inside him stayed behind. Stayed with her.

“Except what?”

“Except you’re better at it than he was. I didn’t think that was possible,” she was quick to add. “Because he was the best. The absolute best. And yet it is possible. And I feel so…so…” She swallowed and searched his eyes. “Guilty for admitting it.”

Angel shot a victorious fist in the air. Or, at least, he imagined he did.

Couple of things here… One, good to know that for her, and up until now, he’d been the best. And two, he had learned a thing or two since the tender age of twenty-four. He looked forward to demonstrating each and every new skill.

“Sonya, you are not wrong to want me. Your man is dead.” The lie tasted sour in his mouth. God, don’t strike me down. Not now. Not yet. “But you are still living. Still breathing. You have needs.”

She frowned before ducking her chin and staring at her bare feet. He glanced down too and found, much to his delight, her toenails were painted a familiar hot pink.

So there is some of the old Sonya left…

“It feels wrong to want you.” Her blond hair had fallen over her shoulders like the halves of a curtain. “I don’t even know you.”

He didn’t mistake her words. They were essentially the ones he’d given her earlier. Except the difference was that in his case, he had known he was lying.

She lifted her chin, staring into his eyes. “Why? Why do I feel this connection with you? Is it because we’re in the same boat? Because Grafton has us both by the nose?”

“I cannot say.” Another lie. The pile was becoming unwieldy. “But I can tell you I feel it too.”

He thought she would be happy to hear it, but she pressed the heel of her hand to her forehead and blew out a gusty sigh. “I’m tired. I should go to bed. We leave for Moldova in six hours.”

Whoa. What? That was it? She was going to abandon the conversation when it was getting good?

“Good night, Angel,” she said a little breathlessly.

Stay, he wanted to tell her.

No. Screw that. He didn’t want her to stay. He wanted to toss her over his shoulder, cart her upstairs, and throw her on his bed and undress her. He wanted to kiss every inch of her naked body until she begged him to put himself inside her.

Instead, he took a step back and lifted a hand, wordlessly indicating she was free to go.

It took everything he had not to reach for her when she slid past him. Instead, he satisfied himself with watching her hips sway to the feminine rhythm of her body as she walked to the end of the kitchen island. She had filled out some over the years. Not that she’d ever been stick thin. God had smiled the day he made her and blessed her with curves. But what little angularity youth had given her was gone now. Her hips were fuller. Her breasts heavier. Everything about her screamed woman.

At the doorway, she swung around, a question in her eyes.

“Was there something else?” he asked.

“I know you think I’m broken.” The misery in her voice hit him in the place where his shattered heart used to be.

Oh, Sonya. What happened to you?

He wanted so much to take her in his arms and remind her of what she once was. Of who she once was. But all he could give her was one simple truth. “The light only truly shines through people who have been broken.”

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Spotlight: Romancing The Pen by Kara Winters

Romancing The Pen
Kara Winters
Publication date: May 13th 2018
Genres: Adult, Comedy, Romance

A seasoned writer with secrets to protect…

Carson Reid is stuck, and not in a situation he’s unfamiliar with. He’s been writing romance novels for years now, so you would think that by now he’d be used to going through the motions. But once more, he’s stuck at the precipice of writing the big “sex scene”… But one quick encounter with a mystery beauty leads him to realize that she’s his long lost writing muse.

A powerful publisher with an agenda of her own…

Kate has had it with men. After building her entire publishing empire on the bones of those that have tried getting in her way, she’s not about to let some love-challeged writer blind her goals. But even under her toughened exterior there is a longing for something. Or someone.

The meeting seemed causal enough. No “shop talk”, no strings attached, and definitely no talking about one another’s history. So what’s one night of passion? Just pure, sexy fun. Again, and again, and again…

But once the spark returns to Carson’s writing, he’s hooked. And he will do anything to make sure that Kate sticks around to see the end of his story complete. Even if it means destroying every wall they both built to keep their hearts safe from harm.

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EXCERPT:

“I feel that I should at least tell you.” Again, I swept my fingers across her cheek. “That something’s been happening to me, each time we’ve been together. I don’t know what it is, but my writing has gotten back on track.”

Kate’s grin was contagious.

“So, keep that in mind,” I told her, my tone turning a little more serious.

She seemed to catch on that I had meant what I said. Blushing, she ran her hand through her hair, then scooted herself closer to me.

I reached out and pulled her the rest of the way. We lay there facing one another on the bed, staring at one another with our hands laced between us.

“You’re my muse,” I whispered.

Another blush formed on her cheeks and I realized I loved when she did that.

“But I haven’t even done anything,” she said. “And I don’t even know what you write exactly. Don’t you think you should tell me some of it, if I’m supposed to help you through things?”

I shook my head and closed my eyes.

My senses picked up on the warmth of Kate. Lips brushed my cheeks and trailed their way slowly up to my eyelids. The feeling tickled me, but I didn’t laugh. Kate’s lips found my mouth and she kissed me deeply. Though I wasn’t sure if she really was looking for an answer to her question, I didn’t want to answer.

Instead of speaking, I grabbed her hips and pulled her tight against my body to let her feel every inch of me. Kate moaned into my mouth and I took her cry down into my throat.

Not breaking the kiss, I turned us so that she straddled me on top again. Beneath her warm legs I could feel my cock sliding against her entrance. She was warm and wet and, fuck, we needed to be together.

“What were you writing last night?” she asked.

I almost didn’t hear her. I was so distracted with kissing the breath out of her body. Kate’s small hand wrapped itself around me and my eyes flew open. She began to stroke.

“Fuck.” I groaned.

She smiled against my mouth. “I thought you might be writing about that.”

I grinned. “You really want me tell you about what I was writing?”

Kate sat up, giving me one hell of a few. Her nipples were stiff and my mouth was craving to taste them. She lifted her hips and aligned herself with my cock, sliding just the tip of me past her folds.

My eyes threatened to roll back into my head, but I forced them to stay open and watch. I braced my hands on Kate’s hips, trying to ease her farther down, but she resisted.

I gave her a questioning look.

“Tell me what you were writing about,” she said, arching one brow and smiling.

The tease.

I played along. “Are you sure you want to play this game?”

“Oh, yes, I’m sure I do,” Kate replied. She eased herself down a half inch. Her wetness was reason enough for me to speak.

“The second love scene,” I started.

She eased down another half inch, then stopped again.

I shut my eyes and nodded. “Okay, okay. The second love scene–”

“We’ve established that there is another love scene already,” Kate cut in, lifting herself back up that half inch that had made me want to pound into her. I was determined to get that inch back, and more.

My fingers gripped her firmly, eliciting another moan from her.

“It begins with the hero and heroine having been away from each other for a little more than a month. He had to leave the country on business, trying to fix his family problems that have been plaguing him throughout the story.”

Kate began to slide down my cock, fueling me to talk more.

“The hero was wounded by the antagonist during a prior scene, and when he returns back to the heroine, he’s still recovering from the wound. She’s worried about him and tends to him at his bedside for days.”

Kate was halfway down my length by the time I stopped. Our eyes met and she parted her lips, her breath coming quicker. She bit her lower lip, adjusting to my girth. I wanted more than anything to thrust up and claim her, but I was afraid she wouldn’t allow me. After all, I wasn’t in charge of this coupling. Kate was.

“Continue,” she said.

Since she hadn’t said anything about me touching her, I reached up to her breasts, running my palms across her nipples. The only word I could use to describe how they felt was aching. Yes, Kate’s aching nipples were in my hands. I really was a romance writer, on and off paper. I chuckled in my head.

Without another thought, I wrapped one arm around her waist and flipped us over, pinning her under me. I continued massaging her breast tenderly.
“I’d rather show you how my love scene plays out,” I said, my mouth ghosting against hers.

Author Bio:

Kara Winters grew up sneaking in all the romance novels she could reach for on her grandmother’s bookshelves. Her love for a good story inspired her to pursue writing as a career and led to her published debut novel in 2013 entitled ‘Working Out the Kinks’.

Currently she lives in Los Angeles and is a member of the RWA (Romance Writers of America), as well as the Los Angeles branch of the guild.

If she is not at home in front of her laptop, Kara is out shopping for vinyl records, exploring the LACMA, or cruising up the California coastline, looking for inspiration to her next book.

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Spotlight: My Fair Lacey & A Perfect Fit by Janette Rallison

Lacey has dreamed of opening a restaurant for years - but first, she needs a loan. When Garrett Halifax, her roommate's Harvard-educated brother, offers to help her clean up her appearance and manner to impress the bank manager, she jumps at the chance. She makes mistake after mistake, and perhaps the biggest mistake is falling for sexy Garret.

This modern retelling of My Fair Lady offers all the humor of the original movie with a splash of romance thrown in.

Jojo Halifax, Lacey's roommate, believes that winning Echo Ridge's float competition is just what her fledgling art career needs. And if that means giving her ex-boyfriend, Anthony, a second chance so she can be a designer on his team, well, she's willing to make the sacrifice. But when a lost bet leads to a blind date with her brother's friend, Wyatt, she begins to have second thoughts about second chances. Wyatt is handsome and charming and just might have been paid to make her forget about Anthony. Is falling for his charm worth the risk or should she take Anthony back again?

Romantic comedy lovers will eat these two novellas up!

Excerpt

She pressed her lips together and tried again. “Couldn’t you find some authors who write more entertainingly?”

He didn’t answer because he was typing instructions into his laptop. He had a list of grammar rules that he kept adding to when she made a mistake. She was supposed to go over his list every day.

She glared at his bent head. Why did he always have to act like a teacher? Had he even given her parted lips the briefest of thoughts?

He turned his attention back to her. “Do you want a romance?”

Her breath hitched in her lungs. Was he really asking her this question so casually, and right after he’d written down a grammar rule for her? He wasn’t looking at her with any sort of passion, just bland interest.

She shifted in her chair. “Um. Maybe. I’m not sure.” She took a deep breath, and tried to think of a better way to phrase her feelings.

He didn’t wait for her to say more. His gaze dropped to the notebook in front of him. “All right, I’ll give you a few Jane Austen novels to read. A lot of women are partial to her works.”

Oh. He had asked her if she wanted to read a romance, not have a romance with him. A stab of disappointment went through her. One that was unexpectedly strong. She bit her lip, swallowed and hoped she wasn’t blushing. No use. She was definitely blushing. Heat rose in her neck and cheeks. She just had to hope he didn’t notice.

He tapped his pencil against the table absently. “I know classics aren’t as easy to read as modern novels, but you’re not only listening to these books because of their complex sentence structure and higher vocabulary; you also need to have a basic cultural understanding. When someone mentions Homer’s Odyssey at a dinner party, you need to know that they’re talking about an ancient Greek story, not a rock group. Do you see my point?”

“Yeah. Your point is that you go to a lot of boring dinner parties.”

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About the Author

Janette Rallison is old. Don’t ask how old, because it isn’t polite. Let’s just say she’s older than she’d like to be and leave it at that.

Janette lives in Chandler, Arizona with her husband, five children and enough cats to classify her as “an eccentric cat lady.” She did not do this on purpose. (The cats, that is; she had the children on purpose.) Every single one of the felines showed up on its own and refuses to leave. Not even the family’s fearless little Westie dog can drive them off.

Since Janette has five children and deadlines to write books, she doesn’t have much time left over for hobbies. But since this is the internet and you can’t actually check up to see if anything on this site is true, let’s just say she enjoys dancing, scuba diving, horse back riding and long talks with Orlando Bloom. (Well, I never said he answers back.)

Connect: Goodreads | Website

Spotlight: How to Fall for the Wrong Man by Harmony Williams

Publication Date: June 25, 2018
Genres: Adult, Entangled: Amara, Historical, Romance

If Mary Babington-Smith knows nothing else, it’s that Lord Edwin Sutton kissed her. Regardless of who-kissed-whom, with the deed witnessed, they have no choice but to carry on with a temporary, fake, engagement. When Edwin sweetens the deal, offering Mary the money she needs to pursue her independence if she can play the lovesick fiancée for two weeks, Mary rises to the challenge. In two weeks, she’ll have everything she wants, and this time she’ll be the one to walk out of his life.

Despite Sutton’s argumentative, self-assured nature, when Mary glimpses a sliver of the boy he used to be, she vows to peel away every layer of armor he uses to shield his emotions. Somewhere underneath that worldly exterior is the kind-hearted man she once loved, but in order to find him, she’ll have to give him the power to hurt her…and he’s already broken her trust once.

Excerpt

He grabbed onto my hand and yanked me into the hall.

“Come back here, you rascals!”

I stampeded after Edwin. He ducked into the threshold of a sitting room, the closest one to the front door, and drew me in after him. Precious little space remained in the doorway, with the two of us pressed together. I peered around the corner in time to spot Nancy’s ample form enter the hallway, her shoulders drawn to her ears in exasperation. I ducked my head back.

“Those are for later…” Her voice trailed off as she heaved a sigh. “You two haven’t changed since you were children.”

I met Edwin’s twinkling gaze. The brown in his irises swallowed up the green as his pupils dilated. We burst into laughter. I pressed my hand against my mouth, trying to stifle it in case Nancy still patrolled the corridor. Edwin didn’t bother. His smile grew, wide and genuine. My heartbeat stuttered. I hadn’t seen that smile since we were children. Even then, it was rare. Teasing it out was like a treasure.

He offered me one of the turnovers. I juggled it between my hands as I bit into it. Hot, but oh, so delicious. I moaned with delight. Flavors burst over my tongue, apple mixed with cinnamon and a darker spice like nutmeg. I polished it off in record time, licking the grease from my fingers as Edwin finished his.

When I tilted my face up to meet his, a frown teased at his lips. I pursed my lips. “What?”

“You have something…” His gaze latched onto my mouth. Wait, no, beside my mouth. He lifted his thumb and wiped off a smutch of filling that hadn’t made its way onto my tongue.

He was one to talk. He had crumbs framing both corners of his lips.

The rough pad of his thumb caressed the side of my mouth. He held it, and the filling, in front of my lips, offering it to me. When I parted my lips and he obediently slipped his thumb inside. I licked off the filling. The burst of flavor coupled with the salty taste of his skin made me squirm in place. His eyes shone like black pools, his pupils swallowed his irises. I sucked on his thumb as he drew it away. His lips parted.

Whether I leaned up or he leaned down, it didn’t matter. The next instant, our lips met. His palm cradled my cheek. The other pressed me close against him. He lifted me, fitting me against him as he languidly explored my mouth. His hand dropped down to cup my bottom. Possessive. I twined my arms around his neck.

The kiss grew heated, urgent. He reversed our positions, pressing me against the open door. I clutched at his head, unwilling to let him break contact between us. The points of contact between us glowed as if on fire. I returned the kiss fiercely.

Someone rapped on the front door. We froze. Edwin lifted his head, staring down at me. He looked a bit bewildered, as if wondering at the madness that had overtaken us. Truthfully, I wondered, too.

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About the Author

Harmony Williams has been living vicariously in Regency-era England since she discovered Jane Austen. Since time machines don’t yet exist, she’s had to make do with books—fictional and non-fictional. On the rare occasions she doesn’t have her nose stuck in a book, she likes to drink tea and spend time with her 90-lb lapdog. A feminist, she writes stories about strong women and the men who support them as equals.

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Spotlight: Back to the Start by Elle Keating

Morgan Kelley has left Boston and is settling in Philadelphia…to a city that harbors her most painful secrets. Will these secrets destroy Morgan’s new beginning or will coming clean give her the second chance she’s longing to have? Find out in Elle Keating’s BACK TO THE START!

Genre: Contemporary Romance
Series: Dangerous Love
Release Date: June 19, 2018

Synopsis

Jake McGinnis has the life he has dreamed of since childhood: a professional football career with adoring fans, financial security, and the unwavering support of his family. From the outside looking in, he has everything. But nothing could be further from the truth. Because there isn’t a day that goes by that Jake doesn’t think about his first love... and what his world would look like if she was still by his side. When he hears that she is relocating to start a new job less than a mile from him, the pain of their breakup feels fresher than ever. For eight years, he has wondered why their relationship ended and now she's settling in his city. A city that isn't big enough for the two of them.

For Morgan Kelley, moving to Philadelphia means living closer to her family and practicing veterinary medicine with two of her closest friends. It’s also her chance to start over and move on from her failed marriage. There’s only one con: the close proximity to Jake McGinnis. Once upon a time being near him was all she wanted, but now he is practically a stranger... and it's all her fault. Faced with awful memories and the possibility of bumping into him at her favorite coffee shop, Morgan is haunted by the real reason she once broke both of their hearts. Deep down, she knows she won’t be able to embrace this new chapter of her life without finally telling Jake the whole truth.  

But how will he react when she shares her secret? Their love story once felt inevitable, unshakable. Is this where it ends for good, or is it the beginning of a second chance

Excerpt

Bacon?

She swore she smelled bacon cooking. How hung over was she?

Morgan reached for her phone, but it wasn’t in its usual place on her nightstand. She sat up in bed and rubbed her eyes. Her head pounded as she remembered the events of last night. She didn’t want to know how many shots she’d had. It must have been a significant amount because she remembered dancing to Wham and that would not have happened if she wasn’t shitfaced.

Morgan got out of bed and was halfway to the bathroom when she took notice of her sleeping attire. She was wearing a gray t-shirt she hadn’t worn in months and underwear. Everything hit her at once and she suddenly remembered how she had gotten home, who had apparently put her to bed…and who was in her kitchen right now cooking breakfast.

Morgan quickly went to the bathroom, brushed her teeth and threw on a pair of sweatpants. She crept downstairs and rounded the corner…and stared at the beautiful man in her kitchen. His back was to her as he stirred something on the stove. He was wearing jeans and a white cotton t-shirt that showed off his bulging biceps. She had always loved his body. Even during those awkward teenage years, she had thought he was the most gorgeous thing she had ever seen.

“How are you feeling?” he asked. He didn’t turn around. Jake continued to stir whatever was in the pot.

“I’ve been better,” she said. Morgan spotted her purse on the kitchen counter and immediately dug through it and found the last of her Advil. She popped two pills and chased them with a glass of water. Though her head throbbed, her stomach was surprisingly ready for whatever Jake was making for breakfast. But before she could take a single bite, she needed to ask Jake a few questions.

“Where did you sleep?”

Jake tapped the wooden spoon on the side of the pot. Morgan watched a few teaspoons’ worth of creamed chipped beef fall back into the pot. He then opened the oven door and produced at least a dozen fresh-baked biscuits. Her stomach rumbled at the sight of one of her favorite meals of all time.

“In your bed,” he said, plating their breakfasts. With her biscuit covered in creamed  chipped beef, he handed her the plate and a fork and flashed her a smile that left her uneasy. Morgan wasn’t worried that Jake had taken advantage of her in her drunken state. He would never do that to her or any woman. No, what she was fucking scared of was what she may have said while she was three sheets to the wind. Morgan placed her plate on the breakfast bar and took a seat on one of the stools.

“Did we…I mean, did I…”

“No.” His tone was absolute and for a foolish moment she breathed a sigh of relief. But her relief was short-lived. The heat in his eyes shook her and she looked down.

Start eating. Do something. Just don’t look at him again.

“I slept next to you just in case you needed my assistance in the middle of the night.”

Morgan winced. “I was that bad, huh?”

“You don’t remember me carrying you up the stairs?” he asked. She fought the urge to look at him as she shook her head. “Or putting you to bed?”

She closed her eyes. Morgan wasn’t a lush on a regular basis, but hell if he didn’t make her feel like a teenager drinking on a fake ID. “Thanks for taking care of me.”

“Just being a good friend,” he said.

Morgan could hear Jake round the breakfast bar. With her eyes closed her other senses were magnified, and she soon felt him behind her. “So you’re okay with being friends again?” she asked.

Jake spun her around on the stool and she was instantly face-to-face with the only man she had ever loved. “Maybe you should ask yourself that question.” Jake placed his hand over her heart. “Tell me, do your friends make your heart race like this?” Jake trailed two fingers to her bottom lip. “Or make your lip tremble like it is right now?” He leaned in close. His own intoxicating scent mingled with her shampoo, and she realized that he had made himself at home and had taken a shower. His lips curled to form a grin. He knew he had her. That strength she had gathered over the past two weeks, that shield of resistance she had carried in front of her like some silly badge of honor had been stripped away.

Jake released her quivering lip and reached behind her. Morgan heard keys scraping against her granite countertop. Just inches from her mouth he said, “Eat your breakfast, Morgan.” He looked at her beneath his long silky lashes for a moment and then left her townhome.

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About Elle

Elle Keating is the author of romance novels with sexy heroes and fierce females. Her first book, Thrill of the Chase (Dangerous Love, #1), was published by Forever Romance’s digital imprint, Forever Yours, in 2015. Cut to the Chase (Dangerous Love, #2) soon followed. Most recently, Elle self-published Wanting More (Dangerous Love, #3) and a standalone novel, Keeping His Commandments.

An avid reader of gritty, dark romances, her favorite authors include Pepper Winters, Penelope Ward, and Anna Zaires.

When she isn’t torturing her heroes and heroines (don’t worry, there’s always a happily ever after), Elle is a public school administrator and enjoys spending time with her husband and 3 children in New Jersey.

Connect with Elle: Website  |  Amazon |  Facebook  |  Goodreads | Instagram  

Spotlight: Almost impossible by Nicole Williams

Fans of Sarah Dessen, Stephanie Perkins, and Jenny Han will delight as the fireworks spark and the secrets fly in this delicious summer romance from a New York Times and USA Today bestselling author.

When Jade decided to spend the summer with her aunt in California, she thought she knew what she was getting into. But nothing could have prepared her for Quentin. Jade hasn't been in suburbia long and even she knows her annoying (and annoyingly cute) next-door neighbor spells T-R-O-U-B-L-E.

And when Quentin learns Jade plans to spend her first American summer hiding out reading books, he refuses to be ignored. Sneaking out, staying up, and even a midnight swim, Quentin is determined to give Jade days--and nights--worth remembering.

But despite their storybook-perfect romance, every time Jade moves closer, Quentin pulls away. And when rumors of a jilted ex-girlfriend come to light, Jade knows Quentin is hiding a secret--and she's determined to find out what it is.

Excerpt

   Anything was possible. At least that’s what it felt like.
   Summer seventeen was going to be one for the record books. I already knew it. I could feel it—from the nervous-excited swirl in my stomach to the buzz in the air around me. This was going to be the summer—my summer.
   “Last chance to cry uncle or forever hold your peace,” Mom sang beside me in the backseat of the cab we’d caught at the airport. Her hand managed to tighten around mine even more, cutting off the last bit of my circulation. If there
was any left.
   I tried to look the precise amount of unsure before answering. “So long, last  chance,” I said, waving out the window.
   Mom sighed, squeezing my hand harder still. It was starting to go numb now. Summer seventeen might find me one hand short if Mom didn’t ease up on the death grip.
   She and her band, the Shrinking Violets, were going to be touring internationally after finally hitting it big, but she was moping because this was the first summer we wouldn't be together. Actually, it would be the first time we’d been apart ever.
   I’d sold her on the idea of me staying in the States with her sister and family by going on about how badly I wanted to experience one summer as a normal, everyday American teenager before graduating from high school. One chance to
see what it was like to stay in the same place, with the same people, before I left for college. One last chance to see what life as an American teen was really like.
   She bought it . . . eventually.
   She’d have her bandmates and tens of thousands of adoring fans to keep her company—she could do without me for a couple of months. I hoped.
   It had always been just Mom and me from day one. She had me when she was young—like young young—and even though her boyfriend pretty much bailed before the line turned pink, she’d done just fine on her own.
   We’d both kind of grown up together, and I knew she’d missed out on a lot by raising me. I wanted this to be a summer for the record books for her, too. One she could really live up, not having to worry about taking care of her teenage
daughter. Plus, I wanted to give her a chance to experience what life without me would be like. Soon I’d be off to college somewhere, and I figured easing her into the empty-nester phase was a better approach than going cold turkey.
   “You packed sunscreen, right?” Mom’s bracelets jingled as she leaned to look out her window, staring at the bright blue sky like it was suspect.
   “SPF seventy for hot days, fifty for warm days, and thirty for overcast ones.” I toed the trusty duffel resting at my feet.It had traveled the globe with me for the past decade and had the wear to prove it.
   “That’s my fair-skinned girl.” When Mom looked over at me, the crease between her eyebrows carved deeper with worry.
   “You might want to check into SPF yourself. You’re not going to be in your mid thirties forever, you know?”
   Mom groaned. “Don’t remind me. But I’m already beyond SPF’s help at this point. Unless it can help fix a saggy butt and crow’s-feet.” She pinched invisible wrinkles and wiggled her butt against the seat.
   It was my turn to groan. It was annoying enough that people mistook us for sisters all the time, but it was worse that she could (and did) wear the same jeans as me. There should be some rule that moms aren’t allowed to takes clothes from the closets of their teenage daughters.
   When the cab turned down Providence Avenue, I felt a sudden streak of panic. Not for myself, but for my mom.
   Could she survive a summer when I wasn’t at her side, reminding her when the cell phone bill was due or updating her calendar so she knew where to be and when to be there? Would she be okay without me reminding her that fruits and vegetables were part of the food pyramid for a reason and
making sure everything was all set backstage?
   “Hey.” Mom gave me a look, her eyes suggesting she could read my thoughts. “I’ll be okay. I’m a strong, empowered thirty-four-year-old woman.”
   “Cell phone charger.” I yanked the one dangling from her oversized, metal-studded purse, which I’d wrapped in hot pink tape so it stood out. “I’ve packed you two extras to get you through the summer. When you get down to your last
one, make sure to pick up two more so you’re covered—”
   “Jade, please,” she interrupted. “I’ve only lost a few. It’s not like I’ve misplaced . . .”
   “Thirty-two phone chargers in the past five years?” When she opened her mouth to protest, I added, “I’ve got the receipts to prove it, too.”
   Her mouth clamped closed as the cab rolled up to my aunt’s house.
   “What am I going to do without you?” Mom swallowed, dropping her big black retro sunglasses over her eyes to hide the tears starting to form, to my surprise.
   I was better at keeping my emotions hidden, so I didn’t dig around in my purse for sunglasses. “Um, I don’t know? Maybe rock a sold-out international tour? Six continents in three months? Fifty concerts in ninety days? That kind of
thing?”
   Mom started to smile. She loved music—writing it, listening to it, playing it—and was a true musician. She hadn’t gotten into it to become famous or make the Top 40 or anything like that; she’d done it because it was who she was. She was the same person playing to a dozen people in a crowded café as she was now, the lead singer of one of the biggest bands in the world playing to an arena of thousands.
   “Sounds pretty killer. All of those countries. All of that adventure.” Mom’s hand was on the door handle, but it looked more like she was trying to keep the taxi door closed than to open it. “Sure you don’t want to be a part of it?”
   I smiled thinly back at my mom, her wild brown hair spilling over giant glasses. She had this boundless sense of adventure—always had and always would—so it was hard for her to comprehend how her own offspring could feel any different.
    “Promise to call me every day and send me pictures?” I said, feeling the driver lingering outside my door with luggage in hand. This was it. Mom exhaled, lifting her pinkie toward me. “Promise.”
   I curled my pinkie around hers and forced a smile. “Love
you, Mom.”
  Her finger wound around mine as tightly as she had clenched my other hand on the ride here. “Love you no matter what.” Then she shoved her door open and crawled out, but not before I noticed one tiny tear escape her sunglasses.
   By the time I’d stepped out of the cab, all signs of that tear or any others were gone. Mom did tears as often as she wrote moving love songs. In other words, never.
     As she dug around in her purse for her wallet to pay the driver, I took a minute to inspect the house in front of me.
     The last time we’d been here was for Thanksgiving three years ago. Or was it four? I couldn’t remember, but it was long enough to have forgotten how bright white my aunt and uncle’s house was, how the windows glowed from being so
clean and the landscaping looked almost fake it was so well kept.
     It was pretty much the total opposite of the tour buses and extended-stay hotels I’d spent most of my life in. My mother, Meg Abbott, did not do tidy.
     “Back zipper pocket,” I said as she struggled to find the money in her wallet.
     “Aha,” she announced, freeing a few bills to hand to the driver, whose patience was wilting. After taking her luggage, she shouldered up beside me.
     “So the neat-freak thing gets worse with time.” Mom gaped at the walkway leading up to the cobalt-blue front door, where a Davenport nameplate sparkled in the sunlight.
     It wasn’t an exaggeration to say most of the surfaces I’d eaten off of weren’t as clean as the stretch of concrete in front of me.
    “Mom . . . ,” I warned, when she shuddered after she roamed to inspect the window boxes bursting with scarlet geraniums.
     “I’m not being mean,” she replied as we started down the walkway. “I’m appreciating my sister’s and my differences.
     That’s all.”
     Right then, the front door whisked open and my aunt seemed to float from it, a measured smile in place, not a single hair out of place.
     “Appreciating our differences,” Mom muttered under her breath as we moved closer.
     I bit my lip to keep from laughing as the two sisters embraced.
     Mom had long dark hair and fell just under the average-height bar like me.   Aunt Julie, conversely, had light hair she kept swishing above her shoulders, and she was tall and thin. Her eyes were almost as light blue as mine, compared to Mom’s, which were almost as dark as her hair. It wasn’t only their physical differences that set them apart; it was everything. From the way they dressed Mom in some shade of dark, whereas the darkest color I’d ever seen Aunt Julie wear was periwinkle—to their taste in food, Mom was on the spicy end of the spectrum and Aunt Julie was on the mild.
     Mom stared at Aunt Julie.
     Aunt Julie stared back at Mom.
     This went on for twenty-one seconds. I counted. The last stare-down four years ago had gone forty-nine. So this was progress.
     Finally, Aunt Julie folded her hands together, her rounded nails shining from a fresh manicure. “Hello, Jade. Hello, Megan.”
     Mom’s back went ramrod straight when Aunt Julie referred to her by her given name. Aunt Julie was eight years older but acted more like her mother than her sister.
     “How’s it hangin’, Jules?”
     Aunt Julie’s lips pursed hearing her little sister’s nickname for her. Then she stepped back and motioned inside. “Well?”
     That was my cue to pick up my luggage and follow after Mom, who was tromping up the front steps. “Are we done already? Really?” she asked, nudging Aunt Julie as she passed.
     “I’m taking the higher road,” Aunt Julie replied.
     “What you call taking the higher road I call getting soft in your old age.” Mom hustled through the door after that, like she was afraid Aunt Julie would kick her butt or something.
     The image of Aunt Julie kicking anything made me giggle to myself.
     “Jade.” Aunt Julie’s smile was of the real variety this time as she took my duffel from me. “You were a girl the last time we saw you, and look at you now. All grown up.”
     “Hey, Aunt Julie. Thanks again for letting me spend the summer with you guys,” I said, pausing beside her, not sure whether to hug her or keep moving. A moment of awkwardness passed before she made the decision for me by reaching out and patting my back. I continued on after that.
     Aunt Julie wasn’t cold or removed; she just showed her affection differently. But I knew she cared about me and my mom. If she didn’t, she wouldn’t pick up the phone on the first ring whenever we did call every few months. She also wouldn’t have immediately said yes when Mom asked her a few months ago if I could spend the summer here.
     “Let me show you to your room.” She pulled the door shut behind her and led us through the living room. “Paul and I had the guest room redone to make it more fitting for a teenage girl.”
     “Instead of an eighty-year-old nun who had a thing for quilts and angel figurines?” Mom said, biting at her chipped black nail polish.
     “I wouldn’t expect someone whose idea of a feng shui living space is kicking the dirty clothes under their bed to appreciate my sense of style,” Aunt Julie fired back, like she’d been anticipating Mom’s dig.
     I cut in before they could get into it. “You didn’t have to do that, Aunt Julie. The guest room exactly the way it was would have been great.”
     “Speaking of the saint also known as my brother-in-law, where is Paul?” Mom spun around, moving down the hall backward.
     “At work.” Aunt Julie stopped outside of a room. “He wanted to be here, but his job’s been crazy lately.”
     Aunt Julie snatched the porcelain angel Mom had picked up from the hall table. She carefully returned it to the exact same spot, adjusting it a hair after a moment’s consideration.
     “Where are the twins?” I asked, scanning the hallway for Hannah and Hailey. The last time I’d seen them, they were in preschool but acted like they were in grad school or something. They were nice kids, just kind of freakishly well
behaved and brainy.
     “At Chinese camp,” Aunt Julie answered.
     “Getting to eat dim sum and make paper dragons?” Mom asked, sounding almost surprised.
     Aunt Julie sighed. “Learning the Chinese language.” Aunt Julie opened a door and motioned me inside. I’d barely set one foot into the room before my eyes almost crossed from what I found.
     Holy pink.
     Hot pink, light pink, glittery pink, Pepto-Bismol pink—every shade, texture, and variety of pink seemed to be represented inside this square of space.
     “What do you think?” Aunt Julie gushed, moving up
beside me with a giant smile.
     “I love it,” I said, working up a smile. “It’s great. So great.
     And so . . . pink.”
   “I know, right?” Aunt Julie practically squealed. I didn’t know she was capable of anything close to that high-pitched.
     “We hired a designer and everything. I told her you were a girly seventeen-year-old and let her do the rest.”
     Glancing over at the full-length mirror framed in, you bet, fuchsia rhinestones, I wondered what about me led my aunt to classify me as “girly.” I shopped at vintage thrift stores, lived in faded denim and colors found in nature, not ones manufactured in the land of Oz. I was wearing sneakers, cut-offs, and a flowy olive-colored blouse, pretty much the other end of the spectrum. The last girly thing I’d done was wear makeup on Halloween. I was a zombie.
   Beside me, Mom was gaping at the room like she’d walked in on a crime scene. A gruesome crime scene.
   “What the . . . pink?” she edited after I dug an elbow into her.
   “You shouldn’t have.” I smiled at Aunt Julie when she turned toward me, still beaming.
   “Yeah, Jules. You really shouldn’t have.” Mom shook her head, flinching when she noticed the furry pink stool tucked beneath the vanity that was resting beneath a huge cotton-candy-pink chandelier.
   “It’s the first real bedroom this girl’s ever had. Of course I should have. I couldn’t not.” Aunt Julie moved toward the bed, fixing the smallest fold in the comforter.
   “Jade’s had plenty of bedrooms.” Mom nudged me, glancing at the window.  She was giving me an out. She had no idea how much more it would take than a horrendously pink room for me to want to take it.
   “Oh, please. Harry Potter had a more suitable bedroom in that closet under the stairs than Jade’s ever had. You can’t consider something that either rolls down a highway or is bolted to a hotel floor an appropriate room for a young woman.” Aunt Julie wasn’t in dig mode; she was in honest mode.
   That put Mom in unleash-the-beast mode.
   Her face flashed red, but before she could spew whatever
comeback she had stewing inside, I cut in front of her. “Aunt Julie, would you mind if Mom and I had a few minutes alone?
You know, to say good-bye and everything?”
   As infrequently as we visited the house on Providence Avenue, I fell into my role of referee like it was second nature.
 “Of course not. We’ll have lots of time to catch up.” Aunt Julie gave me another pat on the shoulder as she headed for the door. “We’ll have all summer.” She’d just disappeared when her head popped back in the doorway. “Meg, can I get  you anything to drink before you have to dash?”
   “Whiskey,” Mom answered intently.
   Aunt Julie chuckled like she’d made a joke, continuing down the hall.
   I dropped my duffel on the pink zebra-striped throw rug.
  “Mom—”
   “You grew up seeing the world. Experiencing things most people will never get to in their whole lives.” Her voice was getting louder with every word. “You’ve got a million times the perspective of kids your age. A billion times more compassion and an understanding that the world doesn’t revolve around you.  Who is she to make me out to be some inadequate parent when all she cares about is raising obedient, genius robots? She doesn’t know what it was like for me. How hard it was.”
   “Mom,” I repeated, dropping my hands onto her shoulders as I looked her in the eye. “You did great.”
   It took a minute for the red to fade from her face, then another for her posture to relax. “You’re great. I just tried not to get in the way too much and screw all that greatness up.”
   “And if you must know, I’d take any of the hundreds of rooms we’ve shared over this pinktastrophe.” So it was kind of a lie, the littlest of ones. Sure, pink was on my offensive list, but the room was clean and had a door, and I would get to stay in the same place at least for the next few months. After living out of suitcases and overnight bags for most of my life, I was looking forward to discovering what drawer-and-closet living was like.
   Mom threw her arms around me, pulling me in for one of those final-feeling hugs. Except this time, it kind of wasa final one. Realizing that made me feel like someone had stuffed a tennis ball down my throat.
   “I love you no matter what,” she whispered into my ear again, the same words she’d sang, said, or on occasion shouted at me. Mom never just said I love you. She had something against those three words on their own. They were too open, too loosely defined, too easy to take back when something went wrong.
I love you no matter what had always been her way of telling me she loved me forever and for always. Unconditionally. She said that, before me, she’d never felt that type of love for anyone. What I’d picked up along the way on my own was that I was the only one she felt loved her back in the same way.
   Squeezing my arms around my mom a little harder, I returned her final kind of hug. “I love you no matter what, too.”

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About the Author

Nicole Williams is the New York Times and USA TODAY bestselling author of contemporary and young adult romance, including the Crash and Lost & Found series. Her books have been published by HarperTeen and Simon & Schuster in both domestic and foreign markets, while she continues to self-publish additional titles. She is working on a new YA series with Crown Books (a division of Random House) as well. She loves romance, from the sweet to the steamy, and writes stories about characters in search of their happily even after. She grew up surrounded by books and plans on writing until the day she dies, even if it’s just for her own personal enjoyment. She still buys paperbacks because she’s all nostalgic like that, but her kindle never goes neglected for too long. When not writing, she spends her time with her husband and daughter, and whatever time’s left over she’s forced to fit too many hobbies into too little time.

Nicole is represented by Jane Dystel, of Dystel and Goderich Literary Agency.

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